broomcloset ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On Pain and Self-Invalidation I am feeling like a slug today. I believe it is a trend. One thing about me (if you haven't already gleaned this from my diary) is that I always doubt the "worthiness" of any physical ailments I might be suffering from. I always think "oh, I'm making it out to be worse than it actually is," or "I'm just being a wuss or making excuses." After years of doing this I still haven't made a whole lot of progress with this issue. I haven't been truly able to believe that if something hurts, IT REALLY HURTS! Here's an excellent example (that I may have mentioned in the past, I can't remember): For a long time I've had problems with my menstrual cycle in the form of extreme pain. I'd double over in pain and actually vomit due to the extreme pain. Still, I wondered if I was just being a wuss. Well, a month came where I was in so much pain that I had a seizure. I forget the name of the type of seizue I had (nothing with "mal" in the end of it) but I was hold at the hospital emergency room that it was the body's reaction to extreme pain. If you experienced a seizure like this, you were in so much pain that your body sort of "overloaded." So okay, I actually understood at that point that I hadn't been wussy all those years when it came to my menstrual cycle. But yet I still doubt any other pain I have. Why? Because I'm a dork, that's why. ;) I have a migraine coming on at the moment, and even though I've been to several doctors and have been diagnosed with migraines, I still wonder if I'm just being a wuss, even though I logically know I'm not. Anyone have any suggestions about this? Any ideas for a cure? (not for the migraine, the invalidation of my pain. But hey, a cure for migraines would be welcome! :D ) Have you ever deeply doubted yourself about something that you knew you shouldn't? Did you ever uncover the root cause? I'd love your input on this. ~Wyrd -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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