broomcloset ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- rANT: work and depression My friends, tonight I bring you a rant. A rant about the unfairness of the work world, and depression. Fasten you seatbelts. _____ This week I've found out that two of my dearest friends have lost their jobs. Friend Number 1 came back from his honeymoon, went to work, and was given his pink slip. 'Have a nice marriage, buddy. Good luck without that income we've been giving you.' They suck. Friend Number 2 works her butt off for a company where her boss sits on his ass playing on the computer for 8 hours a day when she was on 12-hour night shifts until just recently. Tuesday, at the end of her shift, they call her to Reception, fire her, and don't let her go back to her desk to a) pick up her belongings, and b) say goodbye to the friends she's made at the company. 'Sorry, we don't like your work-harder-than-everyone-else attitude. We like useless slugs. Good luck with those three kids of yours!' They suck even more. Then today I get scolded by my boss for my 'unprofessional' and 'embarrasing' performance at work. My boss is referring to the fact that I haven't done a good enough job at notifying co-workers when I'm ill. Apparently emailing my work team and our receptionist is not enough. My boss would prefer I announce to the entire I.T. department that I'm suffering from depression and that right now I'm going through a period where my depression medication is possibly causing me to be so sleepy that I can't physically drag myself out of bed to get to the phone or computer, and that they should stop asking my boss where I am because that makes my boss embarrased. Sure. I'd like everyone to know that I suffer from depression. "Hi, my name is Wyrdsister, and I'm depressed." "This is why, in your eyes, I'm an incompetent slacker. Thanks for understanding." I don't think so, Sparky. You see, it's not like telling people I have diabetes or irritable bowel syndrome. If you tell people you have a physical ailment, they will say "oh, that's horrible!" and understand that you've done nothing to cause it. Have you ever heard anyone say "Well, you're just letting your pancreas be lazy. You have to try harder to make that insulin." No? My point exactly. Or how about "What do you mean you're having trouble working when you're bowels are acting up and causing excrutiating pain? Just toughen up, you can do it!" Again, I don't think any of us have heard that. But have an illness when the chemistry of your brain is involved?? Well, that's just your fault that you have a personality problem, isn't? ... No, you f*cking imbecile, it's NOT MY FAULT!!!! You know what my boss said to me today? (Among other pieces of intellectual and unprofessional garbage) my boss said to me 'Yesterday, Co-worker R was having a gall bladder attack at 5 in the morning, and he called in, and he sounded terrible! Now, if he can make the effort to call in..." So, obviously, as we can all see, I'm not trying hard enough. The problem with the boss' theory: Co-worker R was CONSCIOUS!! You can use a phone when your CONSCIOUS!!! While my boss regailed this little story to me, I was thinking to myself, "Gall bladder attack? What I wouldn't GIVE for a gall bladder attack!!!" Physical pain? No problem. I've drug myself across the floor after having a f*cking seizure due to the intense pain of my menstral cycle to get help, and that was easier than trying to stay awake over these past few weeks! Don't you tell me I don't try hard enough!!! To anyone who has NOT experienced depression: physical pain is much preferrable to emotional or mental anguish. One 'benefit' of physical pain over the latter two is physical pain is not seen as 'your fault' and is therefore 'forgivable.' You do not need to justify your broken leg, your gall bladder attack, your cancer. You don't have to drop to your knees and beg forgiveness from your employer for your 'personal failures.' You don't have to endure suggestions of 'Why don't you get yourself a room mate? Someone to help get you up in the morning?' or 'Why don't you tell more people at work about your health problems so they understand what's wrong with you?' You are not deemed a personal failure because of your illness. But you have a chemical imbalance in your brain, you are tagged with the title "MENTALLY ILL" and you are forced to suffer those indignities. You are therefore a lesser human being because you can't personally control or cure your biologically-caused illness. Yep, this disease is my fault. Thanks, boss. You've been most helpful. *sigh* A V.P. in my company was recently diagnosed with and treated for prostate cancer. Everyone sees him as a strong, venerable leader. ... Anybody want to take a guess at what the most likely response to a lowly slug like myself coming forward and saying "I'm depressed"? Again, I don't think so, Sparky. I don't f*cking think so. _____ Oooh, and here's a little voting fun: Poll Results:
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