broomcloset ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why so tired? So I'm home from work early today. Turns out I was coming down with something - some sort of cold/stomach/flu thing. I don't feel absolutely horrible, but I'd rather nip this in the bud before it becomes horrible. On another front, I'm feeling much better. This weekend was not good, mental-wise. I spent most of it beating up on myself and getting snappy with My Love. My poor Love, I don't know how he deals with me sometimes. He was very kind and patient, two of the multitude of reasons why I love him. I think my muddy mental state was mostly due to how tired I was. Working full time takes a lot more out of me than it seems to for others. By the end of the week I'm exhausted. And when I don't get enough rest, my mood starts to take a slide. My Love and I were talking on the weekend and I asked him if he's ever been too tired to do something he really wanted. He said no - if he really wanted to do something (go out with friends, go to a concert, etc.) he always had the energy. "Wow," I thought, "I have to make that decision all the time - fun or sleep?" And it's been that way for me for years. There are so many things that I've wanted to do or people to see but I havne't been able to because I'm so tired. I don't even remember what it was like to have energy to go out dancing every weekend. It seems like another reality. The tiredness can be a number of things. It could be the anti-depressants I'm on, it could be just the depression (though I don't think so as the tiredness would have lifted as the depression did), it could be higher than normal thyroid hormone levels (something I should really get checked again). I'm sure it could be a bunch of other things, too, that I'm just not thinking of at the moment. Oh, I almost bit My Love's head off on the weekend when he said "You know, you don't need any more than 8 hours of sleep." I know he was trying to be helpful, but it really had the opposite effect. I know from YEARS of experience that I do my best when I have 10 hours of sleep a night. And for someone, even My Love, to tell me what was best for me in the sleep department - well, that really hurt. I kept it together (mostly) at that point and told him "like hell it was." He might not mention it again for awhile. Well, I'm off to read Harry Potter again. I'm reading the second one now, The Chamber of Secrets, as the movie is coming out in a few weeks and I KNOW my friend K will want to go! :) I missed seeing the first Harry Potter movie with him last year, I don't want to miss this one. BB, Wyrdsister P.S. Two days to Samhain - where the heck did the time go?? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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